Here’s a paradox.

I took a day off work today to get my first annual physical. I had a very detailed check-up last year, but it was in response to being sick. I observed at the time that I never went to the doctor unless I didn’t feel well, and my doctor suggested it was time to change that. Last year turned out to be nothing more than a mold/mildew allergy. I never knew one could be so drug out and sluggish from an allergy, but I was.

So, cut to today. Everything went fine. The doctor who saw me said that I was doing well. The only thing he could not comment on, of course, is the results from blood work they took today. Still, all things considered – doing well. I’ve been exercising regularly for a little over a year now. This is something I’ve been fairly low key about. For me, the biggest way to screw something up is to announce it. So, off to the side, I’ve been watching what I eat (to a degree) and exercising – particularly when the weather was nice and I could get out for an hour a day. I’m afraid winter, by contrast, will just be about holding steady or at most, small strides.

Now, one thing I haven’t done is weigh myself. I find that so discouraging. So, I haven’t done it. Friends and family have asked, “how much have you lost” and my honest answer was that I did not know. Today I found out.

Here’s the paradox. I’m wearing the smallest waist size I have in my adult life. I’ve been really happy about that. I know there’s more to go, but that was unreal when I bought new pants for the first time in awhile and made that realization. I knew the ones I had were swimming on me, but I had no idea. And today I see the number… I’m still 18 pounds over my lowest weight (when I graduated as an undergrad after my first big weight loss). This is why I don’t like scales. To those friends and coworkers who obsess over the number on your scale, this is why it’s so misleading. I have no question that I’m in the best physical shape of my life. And I have no question that I have more to work on. But if I’d been reading the scale all this time, I’d have quit out of disgust.